Left To Wonder.

He was a brand new soul.
My mystery of masculinity,
All of him was unknown.
I was intimidated because he was so grown,
Instantly addicted when I realized his slightest touch could make me moan.
In over my head I felt,
But I would not dare reveal my doubt on the situation we were delt.
His embrace was the kind that lit a fire beneath my bones,
And there was no jeopardizing calling his body my home.
Unraveling his many folds became my quest,
Barely realizing this would be my hardest test.
His surface held magnificent appeal,
But it was crucial that I figure out his real.
If you switch up the view,
you'll see that my possibilities of this were few.
How could I strip him to his core
When I myself was layering up with more?
To be in a relationship
You must abandon your selfish-ship.
I didn't let him in, in fear of fear of him walking out.
Then he did the same,
but only because of my pretentious game.
This shined a permanent red light on our car,
And prohibited us from ever going far.
Now it seems the questions still linger in our heads,
Making themselves most apparent when we're lying lonely in our beds.
I guess wonders of what could've been, should've been or would've been we will just direct to the stars,
And forever live with this curiosity of who we each really are.

you vs. yourself

Caught in a confusion
between love and illusion;
Not sure what to believe,
my eyes or my intrigue.
It's a constant battle.
One sees what's wrong,
the other wants to carry on.
I must understand it's a lesson in life,
to make these decisions that bring struggle and strife.
It's easy to be weak and choose the option most bleak,
temporary satisfaction garaunteed
but rotten within the year indeed.
Vice Versa
Staying strong even though it takes long,
feeling like you're dying inside
but really growing wiser to survive.

I love the way the end result sounds,
sometimes I wish my happy ending would just hurry up and come around.
But when it does,
and I analyze my days,
how would I figure it got that way?
Only by falling on my face
and picking myself up with grace.

This is what I pray:
that you take in your fears, your temptations and your tears,
use them to shift yourself into a higher gear.
The past was beautiful, but it didn't last.
Take what you learned and don't hide behind a mask.
Be proud of the mistakes you make because it molds the foundation of your fate.

<3

Writers Blockage

is holding me hostage.
i can't arrange the words in my mind
to simple paragraphs, statements & lines.
what is it my thoughts are trying to spell out?
how can i express them with this everlasting doubt?
i don't wanna come across as phony,
a wannabe writer just here to make mo' money.
great theories encapsulate my inner most essence
they keep me inspired, yet they keep restless.
i need to share it with you before my view becomes skewed.
i've seen it in the past, true artists that couldn't last
because the sparkle of the plastic was something more fantastic.
i'm telling you they blind us with the glitter,
hot at first sight
but aren't you still cold & lonely by the night?
pretty shit?
i'm not feeling it.
what about soulful shit?
they won't allow it as hits.
i'm talking knowledge, love, respecting the above..
can i talk about that or will you all think i'm wack?
i know what i say is the truth
so my question is, why do my words stand so aloof?
lets back track to our youth and that will be my proof,
All those suckas who convinced us we couldn't be or shouldn't be,
laughing at us when we won the spelling bee.
those still hold their blades sharp against our veins.
persuading us that it's a matter of fitting in, instead of standing out
but if that's the case,
what's the word INDIVIDUAL all about?

LYRICS by Britt & Fed:

"When did all the traps begin,
every car a cop within.
Nothin else is true,
this world has become a zoo.
We're the animals that they capture,
free to roam but contained to zones.
I'm just searching for our purest nature
even if it means I'll be prone to danger."

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

"How do we believe everything we see,
are the colors that pretty on TV?
When will we avenge this deceit
that diminishes people's privilege to eat?
I'm asking please
cause I can't take this defeat."

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

"Must we be so shy and not approach their lies?
I'm no longer naive,
it's my turn to intrigue.
Swear that in me the majority will believe
and find the truth hidden beneath layers of greed.
People need what is real,
that is the only way we will all heal.
So bargain with my deal if you pray to be free,
if you really wish to see
and if you really want to be...
simply happy."

SUGAR,

Sugar & Spice.
I only want something that's nice.
This world has been deceitful
& now my eyes are tearful.
I can use a sweet treat
to coat the taste of this bitter meat.
Water washes away the grains
but still drinking it feels in vain.
I crave a new flavor
one that I can always savor.
I'll find my sweetest taste of win
if & only if God will forgive my sin.