destination unknown.

Driving down the I-95, it was Miami chilly outside.
Couldn't decide on the temperature in our ride,
so we cracked the window and let the glass bowl fire our vibe.
The balance of warmth being sucked into our lungs,
and the cold air hitting our skin to sting,
made me numb to the road we were traveling along.
Passing every exit that would guide us home,
we lifted the volume and sang "so long" as we roamed.

B

Ninja Girl

Painted in black.
Never aware
of her next attack.
She'll feed you her poison,
Sauteed in sex
and laced with threats
to pull you more in.
This elixer will creep down your spine,
numbing your concept
of space and time.

Beware of her darts,
for she aims them at hearts.
If yours should seem weak,
forever will your soul
be hers to keep.

Butterfly, with a Slight Fear.

Is there depth to despair
in those glances and stares?
Are you really prepared
to handle with care?
Too much distance to bear.
Butterflies,
with a slight fear.
Another nervous look in the mirror.

I think I know
how to work this,
but I'm a thousand emotions
that I can't name at the moment.
It starts and keeps growing,
through my veins,
pacing and moving.
Almost a bitter sweet;
instead of defeat,
I rose to my feet.


Lyrics by Fed.

Lack There Of

Lately i thought i've been losing it,
my neglection feels like i've been abusing it,
and i've wondered if i'm still even allured to it?
by being unsure my words have come out un-pure,
unpurity feeds me uncertainty
and the uncertainty digests as scrutiny.
judging myself
i make a nervous wreck of myself
this has to be disastrous to my health.
sweaty palms are doing me wrong,
i can't think
when i'm fighting to keep a grip.
questioning my talent?
there's no way my mind's that bent!
it has to be you who's caused this torment.
you soak in my blood,
using my cells as a raft to reach my brain above.
inflicting memories that appear as tragedies
playing like full screen movies
blocking whatever else there is to see.
basically blinded by your power
my inspiration has gone sour.

Left To Wonder.

He was a brand new soul.
My mystery of masculinity,
All of him was unknown.
I was intimidated because he was so grown,
Instantly addicted when I realized his slightest touch could make me moan.
In over my head I felt,
But I would not dare reveal my doubt on the situation we were delt.
His embrace was the kind that lit a fire beneath my bones,
And there was no jeopardizing calling his body my home.
Unraveling his many folds became my quest,
Barely realizing this would be my hardest test.
His surface held magnificent appeal,
But it was crucial that I figure out his real.
If you switch up the view,
you'll see that my possibilities of this were few.
How could I strip him to his core
When I myself was layering up with more?
To be in a relationship
You must abandon your selfish-ship.
I didn't let him in, in fear of fear of him walking out.
Then he did the same,
but only because of my pretentious game.
This shined a permanent red light on our car,
And prohibited us from ever going far.
Now it seems the questions still linger in our heads,
Making themselves most apparent when we're lying lonely in our beds.
I guess wonders of what could've been, should've been or would've been we will just direct to the stars,
And forever live with this curiosity of who we each really are.

you vs. yourself

Caught in a confusion
between love and illusion;
Not sure what to believe,
my eyes or my intrigue.
It's a constant battle.
One sees what's wrong,
the other wants to carry on.
I must understand it's a lesson in life,
to make these decisions that bring struggle and strife.
It's easy to be weak and choose the option most bleak,
temporary satisfaction garaunteed
but rotten within the year indeed.
Vice Versa
Staying strong even though it takes long,
feeling like you're dying inside
but really growing wiser to survive.

I love the way the end result sounds,
sometimes I wish my happy ending would just hurry up and come around.
But when it does,
and I analyze my days,
how would I figure it got that way?
Only by falling on my face
and picking myself up with grace.

This is what I pray:
that you take in your fears, your temptations and your tears,
use them to shift yourself into a higher gear.
The past was beautiful, but it didn't last.
Take what you learned and don't hide behind a mask.
Be proud of the mistakes you make because it molds the foundation of your fate.

<3

Writers Blockage

is holding me hostage.
i can't arrange the words in my mind
to simple paragraphs, statements & lines.
what is it my thoughts are trying to spell out?
how can i express them with this everlasting doubt?
i don't wanna come across as phony,
a wannabe writer just here to make mo' money.
great theories encapsulate my inner most essence
they keep me inspired, yet they keep restless.
i need to share it with you before my view becomes skewed.
i've seen it in the past, true artists that couldn't last
because the sparkle of the plastic was something more fantastic.
i'm telling you they blind us with the glitter,
hot at first sight
but aren't you still cold & lonely by the night?
pretty shit?
i'm not feeling it.
what about soulful shit?
they won't allow it as hits.
i'm talking knowledge, love, respecting the above..
can i talk about that or will you all think i'm wack?
i know what i say is the truth
so my question is, why do my words stand so aloof?
lets back track to our youth and that will be my proof,
All those suckas who convinced us we couldn't be or shouldn't be,
laughing at us when we won the spelling bee.
those still hold their blades sharp against our veins.
persuading us that it's a matter of fitting in, instead of standing out
but if that's the case,
what's the word INDIVIDUAL all about?

LYRICS by Britt & Fed:

"When did all the traps begin,
every car a cop within.
Nothin else is true,
this world has become a zoo.
We're the animals that they capture,
free to roam but contained to zones.
I'm just searching for our purest nature
even if it means I'll be prone to danger."

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

"How do we believe everything we see,
are the colors that pretty on TV?
When will we avenge this deceit
that diminishes people's privilege to eat?
I'm asking please
cause I can't take this defeat."

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

"Must we be so shy and not approach their lies?
I'm no longer naive,
it's my turn to intrigue.
Swear that in me the majority will believe
and find the truth hidden beneath layers of greed.
People need what is real,
that is the only way we will all heal.
So bargain with my deal if you pray to be free,
if you really wish to see
and if you really want to be...
simply happy."

SUGAR,

Sugar & Spice.
I only want something that's nice.
This world has been deceitful
& now my eyes are tearful.
I can use a sweet treat
to coat the taste of this bitter meat.
Water washes away the grains
but still drinking it feels in vain.
I crave a new flavor
one that I can always savor.
I'll find my sweetest taste of win
if & only if God will forgive my sin.

HISTORY REPEATING ITSELF?!

Seating at my cold desk, unfocused and anxious to escape the weariness that these bland beige walls were exulting, Professor clearly spoke a few words that caught my interest; the interest I thought had fled my mind the moment I entered Art History class today. She was telling about the decline of the Roman Empire, an empire that reigned for hundreds of years and ultimately destroyed itself. "An overlay of order with no individuality" is what she referred to it as. Woah, for some strange reason that sparked a nerve in me that insisted I listen on.

The late emperors were all about total control and were militarized to the maximum! Everything and everyone was kept protected, tight and uniform.
What kind of society is that?! No wonder the empire came crashing down! It is impossible to restrain people of their freedom and individuality!

This might be a giant leap, but the moment she emphasized their failure was the moment it hit me that this country could possibly be heading in the same direction, excpet this time around on a more subliminal level.
I mean, isn't it funny how the media can persuade just about anyone to do just about anything? We've seen them praise a certain look, or scrutinize a certain trend, and without question, the majority of our peers follow their lead.
What do you think they are doing to us? They are taking away our uniqueness; those qualities that make us exceptional are criticized everyday and the sad truth is that many of us allow them to pick us apart and put us back together their way.

You might not agree, but then again you might not understand me. Society has become such a complex set of rules, it's almost impossible to just be because there is always something being expected from you.
Subtle, but an overlay of order to be exact.

Question those who represent you, dare to be different and step out of those boxes that conformists insist you remain in. This is your life not theirs... the moment you realize that, will be the moment we gain an advantage.
Because right about now they are winning. And we saw what happenend in Rome when the greedy rulers won... everybody ultimately lost.

THINK ABOUT IT.

Be Seen, In the Scene!

BeScene's bang is echoing all through out Miami, with hopes that our vibrations can some day shake up New York City. This is my dream, to write for a publication whose style, idea's & inspiration can influence the world. I never thought it would find me so soon. I was praying for an opportunity and then one night I met beScene Magazine. Their innovative concept and tremendous motivation devoured all of me; this is the only team I want to a part of and the magazine the world definitely needs to see! It's all about US, you & me, and everything that we could possibly be!
We need your support and loyal following because this could be the best thing Miami has happening! ;)

beSceneMAG.com
Out November 1st, 2009!

So Fresh & So Clean, Livin' the Dream All Up in the Scene ;)

I don't trust myself with loving you

I met him in the midst of insecurity and doubt. He was so pure, so real and so right. At the time it didn't even cross my mind that he might be the one to hold me tight. Now it's going on a year and my feelings aren't translating too clear. I should want what I have, instead I want what I don't. I pray to be loved the way that he loves me, but my shallow heart does not accept it from him. What am I possibly looking for? From who else do I want it more? I'm rejecting him for someone who isn't there and comparing him to someone who used to be. He isn't the boy I pictured would sweep me off my feet, but no one else can make me this happy.

I won't love him, because I don't trust myself with loving him.

In Vanity the Wide Road is Insanity.

Everything else is damned, let them with ears understand!
<3

CHANGE;

First and foremost, it will find you and there is no escaping it. Even as much as you may want to because of how much you might be afraid of it. But you have to Face your Fear. I read a book today that explained why most of us hide behind our fears, and the one universal answer to that question is because we are all terrified of Rejection. Terrified! We would rather conform and blend into the norms of society than face strange looks from strangers for showing our uniqueness. It's a crying shame how much potential the human race bares but does not dare to share. Maybe, if we all committed to be ourselves 100%, then the world would be a better place. I honestly believe that. I am no philosopher, guru, or any kind of teacher; I too am in the process of learning and changing. It takes time. But what I've learned is that you Need to open your mind. Open it wide because there is so much more than you will ever know. And once you start learning different things, you begin learn about different parts of yourself. Think of knowledge as Food for Thought. That thought then turns into wonder, that wonder will lead to curiosity, and finally that curiosity will lead to a Want to change. Change isn't a bad thing. Change, other than death, is the only certainty in this beautiful life. With change comes growth, insight and wisdom. Then you can share your wisdom and Change the World. When you realize that, you can understand and appreciate the beauty of the human race; that only WE have the ability to do that!

The Jump Off.

After a crazy year, what have I learned?!

Well, that is definitely not so easy to answer. I've learned about heartache; first and foremost. I must admit, I was very naive about it. Those who have been through it are much stronger than those who have not. Letting go and putting it in God's hands is the hardest thing a person can do; because we always have our memories that haunt us and encourage us to try and fix it. But what do you do when you have tried every way, from every angle and yet continuously fail? You have to give up because it becomes exhausting. And technically, it is not giving up, it is moving on. Giving up would only be if you did not try your hardest. So, you move on and HOPE that God has a bigger/better plan for you. And whenever those beautiful memories appear in your mind you acknowledge them and thank God that he blessed you with such good times. While keeping in mind that the future is a mystery, and you don't know how many even greater memories are to come. I've learned that we hold on to the past because we FEAR CHANGE We fear that we will not live up to the person that we are supposed to be; meaning that we are afraid we can not live up to our fullest potential. But you know what is so ironic about all of that? Is that we are the strongest when we are at our weakest point. For instance, I fear letting go; I fear heartbreak; I fear change; I fear being honest and admitting to all of my past mistakes; but deep down inside I know that the only way I will change and tear away from that fear is if I face all these problems head first! It is just like that quote, "Once you hit rock bottom, there is no where to go but up". I've learned that God is great. When I lost sight of my faith, i lost sight of everything. I lost sight of my goals and I lost sight of myself. My religion is a weird one, but I understand it completely. God is Love. God is energy. God is in the middle of everything holding it all together like glue. I have to believe that he is always there for me or else I will get lost. My previous relationship did not last because we got lost. There was no foundation. It was not based on anything, except lust. We were two lost souls who found comfort in each other and from there on became even more lost. There was no honesty, no truth, no depth. It was all on the surface, and eventually what is on the surface will fade. The one thing I regret most, is not being REAL with him; which in return just means that I was not being REAL with MYSELF.I PROMISE MYSELF THAT I WILL NEVER DO THAT AGAIN. My spirit now is too strong and God is the core of my spirit. God is the truth, remember. From now on everyone I meet will learn this about me. The same scenario applies to my family. Over the past few years I have hidden behind lies. Lies on top of lies, on top of lies. So many damn lies I can only remember my most recent. I never felt like they would understand me and I would get so angry when they didn't. I was acting so stubborn! I never even gave them the chance to understand me, so how can I have expected them to?! I've learned that Truth is so very important. SO IMPORTANT. Lies weigh you down, even the tiniest. Now, I can't sit here and say that I will never lie again, because then I'll just be lying to myself. But, I can promise that I will never stoop to that level of lying ever again. There is just no way that I will allow it.

Therefore, with all of that said and done, I asked myself... "Why do I want to start jusB?" Because I want to share all of my experiences with the world, and I want to show how I overcome the hard times and make a new, brighter day out of them. Many times I believe people act out of anger (and fear). The decisions we make are not wise, but foolish. And therefore the consequences are severe. Then, everything just gets worse. We lose hope, lose God and lose sight of all the potential we had in our self; well, have because majority of the time it is not too late. Everyone has something to contribute to society, and I want to be the person to bring those contributions to light! I honestly think (and believe) that my words are powerful. But people can not just read them, they have to act on them. And what make my words special is that I am writing to you as I learn for myself. It's like a hands-on guide, ya know? I would never write about something I do not know to be true because I have not been through it yet; or I just do not one hundred percent truly believe. Remember what I said earlier, I'm done with lies. I think my peers, you guys, would appreciate this because you can all relate.

So, in conclusion, this is me. Just Brittny.

Don't hate; just stop on by, drop a line and don't hesitate. ;)