think of this as My Diary.

Let's see, what are my fears?

Death? that's a good one.
Never loving?! that's an even better one.
Never living?!! that's it.

i fear that my life could be over at any given second
and i won't be remembered. i need to be remembered because
i want the satisfaction that i made a difference on Earth.

...even though i don't think we can take our satisfaction with us when we die.

perhaps i just want to love while i'm here.
and perhaps, living is loving.
perhaps...