worry my life away.

There is poison flowing through my veins,
I feel it spreading to every part of me.
It swims with my blood and now my heart is at risk.
If it's as deadly as it seems, this pump will be the last of me.
Right now is all I have, but right now has me so sad.
I was oblivious to the poison's entry. Perhaps it conned it's way in-
like the picking of my pocket while a friend goes in for a hug.
It hurts that much; an open wound that burns at the touch.
My body's aching for a revolution, but this disease takes me far from my heart's desire; into the darkness, dimming the light of me.
I am only human, but can I endure such trauma?
I disassociate from this wilderness because no one can relate. I see people living their lives - making money and making decisions; sticking to decisions and elevating with experiences. I see the floor beneath my feet and it hasn't changed in hundreds of weeks. I don't see life in my life - I see regret and living without cause and effect. I don't know how to pursue a beautiful life - working toward a dream - I'm a hypocrite stuck in between.

i don't need a dollar

So much is happening all at once
I don't have a dollar
But son my dreams aren't getting farther
They are advancing as I keep dancing
To the beat of my passion, everyday
I don't need a dollar to be this way
I don't even need a dollar to be
And that's what I pray others will see
I don't own the riches that comes from disguised slave labor,
I own richness from within
That gets polished by my thought,
Love and manifestations of creative engagements
I don't ever want to be mad
By the material things I don't have
I know some days will be sad
But better for me so I can know the sun when it shines
I forever want to see the world
Through these righteous blue eyes.

Sat upon the Earth alone,
there is no life around me.
When energy passes,
it doesn't see me here.
Waiting,
like an invisible person to be seen clear.

From my indian style,
the world is rather small.
The blades of grass are just beneath me,
so close to me,
yet I cannot fathom how they root across the continent.

Who is sitting at the farthest stretch of the same root?
Are they waiting like me?
Or is their colorful soul set free?

The clouds above me
float innocently.
Parading along, singing a song,
I wonder what lovers are looking up
engaged in the same free show.

Soft wind kisses my cheek,
with a chilling effect,
it runs through every body it meets.

Suddenly, I am not alone.

The world has given me natural comfort.
The atmosphere has hugged me,
and the soil recharged me.

Energy from the green is what I need.
The spirit that is recycled amongst humanity,
the soul of Mother Earth
which sings to us our harmonious worth.

As quoted from Leo Buscaglia;

"To use it all up is Love..."

1. Each day I promise myself not to try to solve all of my life problems at once.

2. Starting each day I will try to learn something new about me, about you and about the world we live in - so that I may continue to experience all things as if they have been newly born.

3. Starting each day I shall remember to communicate my joy as well as my despair - so that we can know eachother better.

4. Starting each day I shall remind myself to really listen to you and try to hear your point of view, and discover the least threatning way of giving you mine - remembering that we are both growing and changing in a hundred different ways.

5. And starting each day I shall remind myself that I'm a human being - and shall not demand perfection from you until I myself am perfect. (So you're safe.)

6. Starting each day I shall strive to be more aware of the beautiful things in our world. I know there is ugliness, but there is also beauty and don't let them tell you any differently.

7. Starting each day I will remind myself to reach out and touch you with my words, with my eyes, and with my fingers; because I don't want to miss out on feeling you.

8. And starting each day I will dedicate myself to the process of being a Lover, and then see what happens...

"If you were to define Love, the only word big enough to engulf it all would be Life."

peace.

To be completely honest, it's not in the things we own. Happiness, fulfillment, peace, does not come in form. We've heard this all our lives, and as corny as you may have taken it or as phony as you perceive it to be, it is the ultimate truth. When we meet strangers, often times than not, we hide behind forms to portray who we are - we act happy because of the things we own and the accomplishments we've founded. We seldom share honest joys or real despair; matters of the heart and soul. We rarely reach out and ask for help in the form of touch, love or understanding. It is this ditch of selfishness and disregard that humanity keeps digging deeper and deeper. It is our solidarity that is eventually going to destroy us. We have to find our interconnectedness and tune our spirits. We cannot wish to find peace through outward forms, for peace develops from the inside. Once we accept who we are, honestly and completely; once we believe in our dreams and our strength; once we plan our steps carefully and execute courageously, then peace be to us. Then, and only then, will the power of love shine from our hearts and unto everyone we meet.

Suheir Hammad

"TALISMAN
it is written
the act of writing is holy
words are sacred
and your breath
brings out the
god in them
i write these words quickly
repeat them
softly to myself
this talisman for you
fold this prayer
around your neck
fortify your back with these whispers
may you walk ever loved
and in love know the sun for warmth
the moon for direction
may these words always remind you
your breath is sacred
words bring out the god
in you."

This lady, poet, author, political activist, beautiful human being inspires me.
She writes with love, speaks with grace and with her words has travelled all over the place. I see now what I am working toward: a brave me, unafraid of speaking to the world.

My focus and Attention isn't in any of this...

It's a race of the masses and I'm compared to molasses.
What's important to them is insignificant to me...
I can't find the worth in living to make monetary.

For even if they hate it,
even if they're soul broke,
They still push for disguise,
for fantasies and lies...
Because they'd rather get approval,
then face the truh that I know.

It wasn't meant to be this way,
I never wanted to judge...
I know exactly how it hurts,
all I want is Love...

But when the money judged me because I didn't commit to fake,
how did it figure I'd react when my soul was at stake?

So I will be no fool,
but do what keeps me full: mind, heart and belly...
to learn what appetites my bite so I never end up settling.

If it sounds like I've figured it out,
I'm not even close...

I'm restless 'cause I'm relentless and can't respect the routine.
I can't push for something false,
or study strategies to manipulate the costs...
Or learn the ways of a beaurocratic boss in hopes of one day getting a day off.
I can't say yes to the crooked system.
I can't read my school books without thinking it's all twisted.

That's why I cannot focus...
that's why I'm in it deep...
Because I cannot believe that people don't fucking see.


((this prose is an act of defense
to the values of man that have been put to the test.))