After a crazy year, what have I learned?!
Well, that is definitely not so easy to answer. I've learned about heartache; first and foremost. I must admit, I was very naive about it. Those who have been through it are much stronger than those who have not. Letting go and putting it in God's hands is the hardest thing a person can do; because we always have our memories that haunt us and encourage us to try and fix it. But what do you do when you have tried every way, from every angle and yet continuously fail? You have to give up because it becomes exhausting. And technically, it is not giving up, it is moving on. Giving up would only be if you did not try your hardest. So, you move on and HOPE that God has a bigger/better plan for you. And whenever those beautiful memories appear in your mind you acknowledge them and thank God that he blessed you with such good times. While keeping in mind that the future is a mystery, and you don't know how many even greater memories are to come. I've learned that we hold on to the past because we FEAR CHANGE We fear that we will not live up to the person that we are supposed to be; meaning that we are afraid we can not live up to our fullest potential. But you know what is so ironic about all of that? Is that we are the strongest when we are at our weakest point. For instance, I fear letting go; I fear heartbreak; I fear change; I fear being honest and admitting to all of my past mistakes; but deep down inside I know that the only way I will change and tear away from that fear is if I face all these problems head first! It is just like that quote, "Once you hit rock bottom, there is no where to go but up". I've learned that God is great. When I lost sight of my faith, i lost sight of everything. I lost sight of my goals and I lost sight of myself. My religion is a weird one, but I understand it completely. God is Love. God is energy. God is in the middle of everything holding it all together like glue. I have to believe that he is always there for me or else I will get lost. My previous relationship did not last because we got lost. There was no foundation. It was not based on anything, except lust. We were two lost souls who found comfort in each other and from there on became even more lost. There was no honesty, no truth, no depth. It was all on the surface, and eventually what is on the surface will fade. The one thing I regret most, is not being REAL with him; which in return just means that I was not being REAL with MYSELF.I PROMISE MYSELF THAT I WILL NEVER DO THAT AGAIN. My spirit now is too strong and God is the core of my spirit. God is the truth, remember. From now on everyone I meet will learn this about me. The same scenario applies to my family. Over the past few years I have hidden behind lies. Lies on top of lies, on top of lies. So many damn lies I can only remember my most recent. I never felt like they would understand me and I would get so angry when they didn't. I was acting so stubborn! I never even gave them the chance to understand me, so how can I have expected them to?! I've learned that Truth is so very important. SO IMPORTANT. Lies weigh you down, even the tiniest. Now, I can't sit here and say that I will never lie again, because then I'll just be lying to myself. But, I can promise that I will never stoop to that level of lying ever again. There is just no way that I will allow it.
Therefore, with all of that said and done, I asked myself... "Why do I want to start jusB?" Because I want to share all of my experiences with the world, and I want to show how I overcome the hard times and make a new, brighter day out of them. Many times I believe people act out of anger (and fear). The decisions we make are not wise, but foolish. And therefore the consequences are severe. Then, everything just gets worse. We lose hope, lose God and lose sight of all the potential we had in our self; well, have because majority of the time it is not too late. Everyone has something to contribute to society, and I want to be the person to bring those contributions to light! I honestly think (and believe) that my words are powerful. But people can not just read them, they have to act on them. And what make my words special is that I am writing to you as I learn for myself. It's like a hands-on guide, ya know? I would never write about something I do not know to be true because I have not been through it yet; or I just do not one hundred percent truly believe. Remember what I said earlier, I'm done with lies. I think my peers, you guys, would appreciate this because you can all relate.
So, in conclusion, this is me. Just Brittny.
Don't hate; just stop on by, drop a line and don't hesitate. ;)
